Wish
by Pumpkinshota
Summary: Based off of an artwork. Years have passed since Gon died. The only one left in Killua's life is Alluka. (M for character death.)


When I think about it, I realize now that I probably fell for that idiot the day he came to my house and went through absolute hell to see me. It was the first time someone had actually gone through such lengths to help me out, fearless against the wrath of my family. God knows they could've killed him on the spot and not thought twice about it.

That's why… When I finally got to see him again, I didn't leave his side again for the longest time.

Selfish, stubborn and naive; those were traits that marked the foundation that made up Gon's entire self. He was stubborn enough to come and get me, selfish enough to break my heart, and naive enough to never even realize it.

But that just sounds like a really bad romance flick - the sort that I'd probably gag if I watched it for more than a few minutes. It's pretty cheesy when I think about it, but if you're interested enough to sit through a few minutes of the story, you might find… Romance isn't exactly the center of this. Actually, it doesn't have much to do with it at all. It's just a side point. Like most good stories probably should be. Romance is just a bad plot point in general if that's all there is to it.

What we've got here is a bit more like companionship intermingled with a strange 'love' for someone who was too blind to see it; coming from someone who doesn't know how to express it right to begin with. In other words… An almost certain-to-be disaster waiting to happen.

Let's begin?

7/17

It had only been a few days since my birthday passed - a little over a week, for that matter. At the point in which this story takes place, Gon and I had already been through hell and back. This takes place after Kite had been killed by Pitou, the first Royal Guard. After Gon lost everything including his sense of self and after my heart had been broken over and over again by the devastation we faced there in East Gorteau. Do you have a feel for it yet?

It was the aftermath of that hell, when I was the only one who could bring Gon back from the brink of death. At the same point when my sister, Alluka, finally came to the forefront of my mind and I remembered just what my parents put her through isolating her in a chamber far beyond that where any human could contact her. Should we skip ahead and get past all the details involving that? It'll make things go faster and I hear you've already got a good amount of the details. If you don't, then you should go back now. You might not like hearing the rest. I think we call it 'spoilers', since I'm breaking the fourth wall enough as it is.

7/20

I rescued Alluka like Gon once rescued me from that darkness - from that life of killing against my will. It was kind of nostalgic in a way, giving me a weird sense of deja vu. But at the time… I was definitely too distraught to give it much thought. It's oddly symbolic when you consider it, right? What was given to me… I gave back exactly the same? Something like that.

I pulled Alluka out of that place and at the end of it all, through danger and the whole like, I got Alluka to heal Gon. The boy that I'd somehow managed to fall in love with despite all those stupid, self-centered tendencies he had. He woke up and he was… Just fine.

but that was the part where I found myself withdrawing all over again. He was just fine. He shrugged off everything. Just like always. I got my apology, but what else? I saved his life as always, cleaned up his mess, and then it was over.

… And then it was just… Over.

"I'm heading off with Alluka now, Gon. It's been fun…"

"Yeah… I guess this is it, huh Killua?"

"Yeah. So… See you around."

"See you, Killua."

And we departed in opposite directions, to see each other again at another time possibly. When? That was anyone's guess. With the note that we ended off on, one could assume it would be a long, long time before we met again.

I had someone else to protect now. And Gon… Gon had taken a step too far with that last blow to my heart. If anything, I just needed a nice, long break from him. A break until Alluka and I were safe from Illumi and my family. As soon as I'd taken her away from my folks' house, I knew I was making an enemy of them and that they would definitely hunt us down in the end.

With Alluka's ability and the potential to unleash hell on Earth after the last wish I made, it wouldn't be the last I saw of them by a long shot.

And it wouldn't be until three years later that I would hear of my old friend again. Three long years where I had grown and matured - as had Alluka, in that time.

I'd expected to hear back from Gon some day. I'd expected he would settle down a bit after meeting Ging after so long of looking for him. I'd expected… Things would be fine for my old friend. But I've been wrong before. And I was… I was so, so, so very wrong… You can probably guess what happens, right? It's almost obvious. The worst possible scenario.

3/21

"Killua…" It was Leorio's voice on the phone, after I groggily answered upon the second ring. It was very nearly four in the morning, when I'd just begun to drift off to sleep for the night.

As it stood, Leorio had contact with Gon far more often than I had. At some point, Leorio had started playing father figure in Gon's life, doing a whole hell of a lot better than Ging probably ever did and ever would. I'd gotten a few updates on that, but not much past a few details here and there. Our communications were sparse at best.

"I have something to tell you…" He sounded… So solemn. It made me feel nervous, somehow, a twisty feeling knotting up in my gut. The only times I'd heard that tone of voice was when something had gone terribly wrong.

"Killua…" Leorio sounded like he was actually choking back tears. "It's Gon…" Somehow, before Leorio even said another word, I already had a feeling what was going to come next. My stomach dropped before anything more could be said, but my heart seemed to stop in place at the next bit entirely.

"He's gone… He's…" I threw the phone across the room and it shattered against the wall.

I don't think I'd ever really melted down in front of Alluka before, but that was definitely a time when I did. And nothing she did could console me. The only reason I could pull myself together was probably because she still relied on me to be her tough big brother. She understood what'd happened, but there wasn't much she could do.

And… Even if 'It' could bring Gon back to life… I vowed to not use that power ever again. Not even… For something like this.

Yet… I felt like contradicting myself with that promise. In the frame of mind that I had been in… I really might've contradicted my own promise. Even at the cost of my own life. But no, I had a little sister to take care of and a life to continue living. Even with this blow that crippled me intensely, I could go on, even if I had to crawl by.

3/25

"Ki…llua?"

Four days later… A familiar voice emerged from Alluka, paired with a set of dark eyes and a dark mouth. The face of 'It'.

"What is it?" I'd done a poor job at covering up how I felt and I knew it. I was completely shattered and even 'It' knew that at this point. Alluka had probably been talking to 'It' about what happened.

"Help…? I help?"

Of course that was out of the question for far too many reasons; even if I was special and got a special set of rules when it came to 'It'. Even if I could talk to 'It' and have conversations, such a request was out of the question. What's dead should probably remain so. Just like dead memories should be cast aside for something new and brighter. I'd left Gon's side for a reason before.

He never had learned how much I loved him, did he? He'd never find out now, it seemed. He'd never really know exactly how I felt or how I'd really just wanted to stay by his side and eventually live a completely ordinary life.

"You don't need to worry about anyone else's problems. Not even mine."

I was speaking from the heart when I said that. Just because I was suffering at that point; just because something terribly had happened… It didn't mean for even a second that Alluka and 'It' should have to suffer, too.

"Killua sad… Make Killua happy?"

I remember I shook my head and patted 'It' on the head with a smile that I knew must've looked faked. I didn't even try to cover it up. The wound was still too fresh and even acting was too hard.

"I'll be happy again soon."

That's how the childhood chapter of my life ended. Losing the person who had once been the most important to me. After that, it seemed like for a while I just wasn't mentally there. Even though we hadn't talked in three years, it just kept coming back to me - all the times we'd spent together. Though the good and the bad. And I always found myself remembering the times where Gon had shown genuine concern for me, even above the times where he had hurt me terribly.

But when you have something to fight for, you keep going, right?

I came into possession of his fishing pole soon after that. Leorio made sure that I got it. After that… Me, Leorio and Kurapika never did speak again. We went our separate ways. Gon really had been the one holding all the pieces together, so without him at the center of it all, what common factor did we all have?

Another two years passed and I was finally an adult.

7/7

"Big brother! I have a gift for you, okay? I'm going to make sure you don't look!"

I nodded, smiling slightly as Alluka blindfolded me. It was my birthday today, so I assumed she had a surprise for me. Maybe some chocorobos or something similarly simple. Perhaps she had even made a special plush doll for me. She was fond of making such things and had become quite talented at it over the years.

"Don't move, big brother!"

So I did as I was told. I could sense her moving away from me, and then… Then there was someone else with her. I could tell, and I could hear a set of footsteps rather than just one. There was a quiet whispering, but I couldn't make out what was being said exactly.

"Alluka?" I questioned, readying myself to remove the blindfold.

"Okay, you can look now!"

I tugged it off as soon as she said I could. And the first thing I saw… It made my eyes go wide with shock.

"G…Gon?" It was him. The boy who had died now stood alive in front of me.

"Killua…" Gon looked so much older and his voice had deepened. But when he said my name… His voice cracked and tears filled his eyes. I was completely stunned and couldn't move. My heart was pounding in my chest and without even realizing it, tears filled my eyes at the sight of Gon stepping towards me.

He was… Supposed to be dead, right?

"K-Killua, I'm sorry… I'm sorry!"

Before I knew it, I was being embraced so tightly I couldn't breathe. As if I could breathe before. My chest had tightened so painfully, I thought it must be just a dream. But Gon's scent… His touch…

It was definitely… Oh, most definitely real.

"I'm sorry Killua… I'm so sorry I left you… I'm so, so, so sorry!" Gon choked out each word, sobbing into my shoulder like a young child would.

Really, we were both crying and I was too overwhelmed by the entire situation to say anything. Instead, I opted for giving Gon a crushing hug until, at some point, we both collapsed onto the ground into a tearful heap. I don't know how long we stayed like that, sobbing like young children all over again. But something within me seemed to come back to life, embracing Gon as if my life depended on it.

In the background at some point, I heard Alluka mutter quietly.

"Me and 'It' wanted big brother to be happy, so we made a wish for big brother's friend to come back! We hope big brother will smile more now! Happy birthday!"

It seems like that was the first time in years that I'd held a genuine smile on my face.

It's not such a bad story after all, is it?


End file.
